01x11 : Insights
by Gabrielle Henson
Summary: 11th episode in the 'Rocky path' series. After Kira left Faith in a catatonic state, Tara is forced to turn to magic to rescue her friend and discovers a few things about the Slayer in the process.
1. Teaser

_Disclaimer : Everyone knows who own Buffy and co ! Let's say it, it's not me!_

_ This story is the eleventh episode in a series called 'Rocky path' that begins around one year after 'Chosen'_

_( I strongly recommand to read the 10 first episodes to understand that one) _

_You can check the series out on my website. (see the url in my profile)  
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_Thanks to everyone who left feedback about the last episode._

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Tara blinked as Kira released her and she fell heavily to the ground, feeling as weak as a newborn baby. Her chest burnt and her hands violently shook. She was about to throw up or faint. But she had to remain conscious, whispered a little voice in her head.

Faith.

She had to help Faith.

Tara tried to gather what little strength left she had. She sorely raised her head and tried to make out Faith's figure through her blurred vision. It took her several seconds to take sight of the brunette Slayer, still lying in the snow a few feet from her. The blonde tried to sit up but she found out she just couldn't.

She had to. Faith wasn't moving. She was at least hurt. Maybe worse. Tara had to go to her, to check on her, to help her if possible. She felt tears of despair forming at the corners of her eyes as she failed once more to sit.

"F-Faith…" she tried to call the Slayer but her voice sounded so weak and low she was sure Faith couldn't hear her despite her enhanced senses.

Tara pushed on her arms and started to crawl in the snow toward her friend. She stopped a brief instant upon hearing Kira's mocking voice.

"Isn't it touching?" the brown-haired witch snickered.

Tara shivered, both from cold and fear. She had forgotten the other witch's presence for a moment, disoriented as she was by her attack. She turned fearfully her head toward her. But Kira didn't look threatening at all anymore. She was casually sitting on a tree's trunkand appeared to just watch the scene in front of her. Tara hesitantly tore her gaze off her. She decided to forget about Kira for the time being and resumed her crawling to Faith. When she finally reached the still slayer, Tara noticed her wide opened eyes and she felt her stomach violently turning in her chest. Faith's nose and lips were bleeding and her face was bruised. Her jacket was torn. Tara's first move was to check on the Slayer's pulse. She sighed with relief when she felt it and saw the brunette was breathing. She gently lifted Faith's neck with her arm and lightly shook the girl's shoulder.

"Faith, talk to me," she breathed. "Tell me something, anything."

She got neither response, nor any reaction at all.

"Faith," she implored in a begging tone. "Talk to me."

She checked for the pulse once more and found it again.

"Faith," she repeated and her voice broke a little, as the Slayer still didn't answer.

"It's useless," Said Kira suddenly in a casual voice. "She won't reply."

Tara slowly turned her head toward the other witch. She was still on her tree and wasn't even looking at Faith and Tara, as she looked engrossed in her own hands contemplation.

"Why is that?" Tara asked in a weak but nevertheless stutter-free voice. "What have you done to her?"

Kira looked up and stood. She walked over to the girls and Tara began to shake as she approached. The brown-haired girl stopped beside both friends and smirked as she took sight of Faith.

"Don't be so afraid," Kira casually told Tara when she noticed how much the blonde was shaking. "You've got nothing left I'm interesting in."

"Wh-what have you done to her?" Tara repeated. "Have you put a spell on her?"

Kira's smile got wider and she shrugged. She let escape a long-suffering sigh before replying.

"You're a witch from what little I know. You'll figure it out yourself."

With that, she turned on her heels and started to get away, leaving a dumbfounded Tara behind. The blonde looked at Faith again. Nothing had changed in the Slayer's state.

"Kira!" Tara called as loud as she could when she realized the other witch was leaving. "Come back! Undo it!"

"Kira!" the blonde shouted again a few seconds later as the other witch did not reply to her calls.

"That's your job, girl!" Kira exclaimed, waving above her shoulder without even turning to Tara. "Have faith, you'll find a way!"

"Kira! Please!" Tara begged, feeling panic overwhelming her. "Please come back!"

But Kira didn't. She resumed her casual walk and Tara helplessly watched her retreating between the saplings.

"Good luck!" was the last thing she heard from the other witch as she finally disappeared from the blonde's sight.


	2. Act 1

Tara sighed with relief when she finally caught sight of the hostel. She stopped at the corner of the street and turned to Faith. Tara had been supporting the slayer since they had left the forest and she had a hard time to get the still unconscious brunette back to the hostel.

Well, Faith wasn't unconscious in the strict meaning of the word. Her eyes were opened and she could walk and move. But she acted as she had lost any connection to the world. She didn't appear to hearing Tara when the blonde was talking to her and she was unable to make a decision of her own.

After Kira's departure, Tara had tried for a long moment to snap Faith out of her trance. But she had met no success and she finally had to decide to help her friend to get back to the hostel. They were both soaked from the snow, hurt and exhausted from their fight with Kira. The last thing they needed was to catch a cold.

Then, Tara had put Faith on her feet but she had to support her to make the slayer follow her steps. That way, it took them more than twice the time usually needed to cross the distance between the forest and the hostel. Tara wasn't used to such physical exertion and she was more than happy when they finally reached the door of the hostel.

She got the key out after a minute rummaging through Faith's pockets and opened the door as silently as possible. The girls slipped inside and found themselves in front of the stairs and Tara sighed. There was one last ordeal before she reached their bed.

Tara appraised this new obstacle and sighed once more. Then, she tightened her grip on Faith's waist and whispered more for herself than for the other girl:

"Let's take you upstairs,"

She then started to climb the stairs very carefully, one step slowly after the other, taking great care not to make any sound. It was not an easy task with Faith limping on her and barely able to advance. Gripping firmly the banister, Tara hauled them up the stairs with great effort and finally emerged on the second floor, sweating profusely and panting heavily. Dragging Faith along the hallway up to their room seemed very easy compared to their climbing of the stairs, and soon Tara sighed with relief when the door of their room burst open. She helped Faith to the bed and came back to close the door before slumping heavily on the mattress near the brunette, panting like she had just ran a marathon.

"Goddess," she breathed. "Faith's right, I really need some physical exertion,"

She was about to add something but had to keep quiet to inhale a large part of fresh air. She remained still for several minutes, sitting on the bed and trying to get her breathing and pounding heart back to normal.

When she was satisfied with her cardiac rhythm, she turned to Faith on her right and stared at the motionless slayer. The brunette was sitting just behind her with her back against the wall. Her face was covered in dried blood and her hair was someplace glued to her face, still wet from an ugly mixture of blood, dirt and snow. Her chest lifted regularly, following the rhythm of her breathing and her eyes were wide-opened, like she stared at something in the distance, but Tara knew she did not see what was in front of her. What did she see instead of their room? Tara had no idea.

She contemplated the slayer's face for a few more moments, and then slowly got up to reach the bag, lying on the floor a few feet from her. She opened it and removed the first aid kit. She put it on the bed, and then headed for the bathroom where she took a towel she slightly moistened with water.

She came back to the bed and sat beside Faith. She cleaned gently her face with the towel and hoped the slayer wouldn't remember that moment when she'd finally wake up from whatever her state was. Faith would, with no doubt at all, be utterly furious about what Kira had done to her. Tara already wished she wouldn't be the one whom Faith would wash her anger on.

But though she knew Faith would be angry at her helplessness and vulnerability – how could she – Faith, the magnificent slayer – be taken care of by a simple witch? The brunette wouldn't like that, that was for sure - Tara just couldn't leave her in such a pitiful state.

So, when she was done with washing her face off the blood and dirt from the fight, she started to clean her numerous cuts and to try to soothe her innumerable bruises.

She hoped that somehow, her cares would bring Faith back to her senses, whether it was because she was furious or not.

But it did not happen. Now washed and clean, Faith did not react more than previously in the slightest, and Tara sighed deeply in utter desperation. The fact was, the blonde had no idea what to do. Even if Kira had suggested that Tara would know what to do as a witch, the blonde just felt overwhelming panic when she tried to think about what curse Kira had used against Faith and how to undo it.

She flipped quickly through the pages of the magic book they bought not so long ago but it was a very basic item and she had no hope to find anything in it related to dark magic such as Kira used. Besides, she felt so exhausted that she could barely keep her eyes open above the pages.

Tara decided it was a better idea to try to sleep. She would find nothing about Faith's current state tonight; that was something she was sure about. Maybe tomorrow, when she would be rested, she'd remember something useful from her previous life in magic. But now, all her body was begging for rest.

She considered Faith, still motionless against the wall and wondered what to do with her. Faith would probably not fall asleep and remain awake for what was left of the night. Tara looked back down at her magic book and flipped through the pages until she found the page she looked for. A sleep spell was something she could do and it would make Faith the greater good to sleep a few hours.

Tara stripped the slayer's clothes from her body, leaving her in her underwear and slipped a tee shirt on Faith without her batting an eye. She lay her on her side of the bed and then recited the spell in Latin, keeping an eye on the book though she didn't need it, remembering that simple spell by heart for having used it so many times on her mother when she was so ill in the end. Faith fell asleep almost immediately and her eyes closed for the first times in hours. Tara watched her regular breathing for a moment and when she was sure the slayer was sleeping quietly, she slipped beneath the sheets in turn.

***

Morning happened a lot quicker than Tara expected.

The night had been short and difficult. Her sleep hadn't been as restful as she wished it had been, as nightmares of Kira attacking them all over again had filled her dreams.

Tara still felt exhausted but she found out she just couldn't sleep more. She pushed the blankets aside and got up. She stretched her numb arms and legs before turning to Faith. The slayer was still sleeping and her sleep appeared neither especially disturbed nor restful.

Tara knew she still had a few hours before she awoke, and decided to make the best of them to find something to help the brunette. Her first move was to dive again in her magic book, even though she knew she had little chance to find something useful in it.

After about an hour of attentive reading, making notes, crossing them out, she had to admit she had been right. Nothing in her book would help her. Though she did not really count on it, the blonde could not help feeling sorely disappointed.

As she closed the book after flicking through the pages one last time, she turned to Faith and contemplated the motionless slayer. For the briefest moment, she thought about calling Giles and the council. But she gave in that idea as soon as it occurred to her. She knew Faith would hate even more if someone else than Tara saw her like that. Tara decided the council would be her very last chance.

She got up from her chair and started to pace the room absent-mindedly, her brows furrowed, deeply lost in thoughts. She had to find something on her own, she kept repeating to herself. Saving Faith was up to her. But it was the first time in months - the first time since she had come back to be precise- that Tara had to do something on her own. Something important. And then she realized how much Faith had made her life easier, taking charge for every single aspect of their life since the very first day when they had left Cleveland together. Now alone or so, Tara felt utterly lost. Calling Giles came to her mind once more, and she chased the idea away. She finally slumped back in her chair again and looked at the slayer in the bed. She sighed and her face showed how much the witch felt defeated.

She remained here for a moment, staring at Faith, seemingly thinking about what to do, but terrified that she would be unable to find something. Somewhere in her head, she recalled how it was to be trapped in her own mind after Glory sucked her brains. She shivered in horror and shook the memory away as soon as it came back to her. She was almost certain that this curse was a different kind of spell. Though Faith's state reminded her of something, she could not put her finger on what it was.

She got up again, paced the room once more, opened the magic book one more time, flicked through the pages, searching for something she would have missed the first times. But the book did not reveal any helping secret this time either.

Tara closed it abruptly and the book slammed on the table. The witch needed to get some fresh air, to clear her mind. She decided to go for a walk and returned to the bed where she picked up her clothes, scattered on the floor where she had left them the night before in her haste to sleep. She headed for the bathroom where she disappeared and remained for the following thirty minutes.

Once showered, dressed and engulfed in her coat, Tara headed for the door of the room, not before having checked on the slayer. Faith was still sleeping, which was a plus, Tara hoping somehow she would find a way to undo Kira's spell before the brunette awoke.

With a last glance to the bed, she resolutely opened the door and left. She went down the stairs quietly, went past the common room of the hostel and went outside. Biting cold and chilly air welcomed her and Tara instinctively turned up the collar of her coat. She put her hands down her winter jacket's pockets and entered Main Street.

She met a few passers-by, walking quickly as to flee from the cold but she didn't pay them any attention. She emptied her head of thoughts of Faith, of Kira, of the urge to find a solution to Faith's mental state. Her lonely random walk through the village made her some good and she started to relax a little as everything left in her mind was just her and the streets covered in snow.

But everything Faith-related rushed back as her top priority when she absent-mindedly caught sight of Mrs. Applefresh's esoteric bookshop. The woman probably was a witch, Tara remembered. And the blonde spotted some real magic related books the first time she had visited the shop. Maybe she would find something useful in there?

She crossed the street and resolutely pushed the bookshop's door. The doorbell softly rang, announcing her entrance. Tara closed the door behind her and walked in the shop, already looking around carefully, as if a book telling her what to do might appear in front of her out of the blue.

She took a look at the counter and noticed it was deserted. Mrs. Applefresh was probably in the storeroom. Tara started to wander among the shelving, occasionally grabbing and leafing through a book. Each time, she was disappointed: the book had nothing to do with real magic despite misleading titles like "Real magic at home" or "Discovering the benefits of magic". Tara sighed as she put back a copy of "Spells for advanced users" and jumped slightly the second after when Mrs. Applefresh's voice welcomed her.

"Good morning my child," the bookshop owner told her in a sweet voice. "Anything I can do for you?"

Tara turned back to the counter where Mrs. Applefresh was now standing and smiling at her. Tara smiled back and headed towards her, internally debating whether or not she should tell her the truth. If her intuition was good and the woman really was a witch herself, she might be able to help her. If not, she would think the blonde was a total freak.

"Well," Tara began hesitantly, not having decided yet what she was about to ask. "I'm searching for a book…" she carefully said. "A book about spells."

Mrs. Applefresh looked at the shelves in Tara's back, where the blonde had just left "Spells for advanced users".

"Do you think about a specific book, or a specific spell, my dear?" the woman asked.

"Hmm, a spell," Tara answered, now resolute to explain everything. "I don't know what spell it is but I know its effects."

Mrs. Applefresh nodded thoughtfully and invited the blonde to go on.

"What effects are we talking about?"

"Well, my friend Faith, you know, the brunette who was with me last time I came?"

As the woman nodded, Tara resumed quickly:

"She's been victim of a spell and since then, she won't answer when I talk to her and she won't react at any external stimulus. It's like her mind is gone."

"I need to find something to undo the spell," she concluded after a brief silence.

The woman in front of her slowly nodded and frowned. She stared piercingly at Tara, as to ponder if she was lying or not. Tara tried to smile but she wasn't sure it would help her to look more convincing. After a few seconds feeling like hours to the blonde witch, Mrs. Applefresh gestured to Tara to follow and she turned back toward the storeroom behind the counter.

Tara crossed the threshold of a narrow door behind the bookseller and found herself in a little room bathed in the sweet light of the morning. Two rows of shelves were standing in the middle of the room and three little tables were aligned against the right wall.

"This is my private collection," Mrs. Applefresh explained. "You won't find anything of use in the shop. But maybe here."

Tara nodded and went to the shelves where she started to examine the books. She smiled lightly when she recognized some of the works she had owned herself when she was living in Sunnydale. This was the real thing. Hope rushed back.

"Th-thank you," she said, turning back to Mrs. Applefresh.

"You should start with the bottom shelf," the woman said. "There're a few books about mind spells. But what you describe is rather vague and I think it'll take some time to find the good spell."

Tara nodded and smiled again.

"May I…" she started.

"Take all the time you need, dear," the bookshop owner answered the unfinished question. "I'll be in the shop if you need me."

With that, she left, leaving Tara alone in the room. The blonde headed to the bottom shelf, as Mrs. Applefresh advised her. She picked up five or six books relative to mind manipulation, even if she was nearly sure she would not find anything interesting in "how magically soothe your mind".

"Goddess," she whispered while looking at this particular book. "Some witches are ready to write anything to get some money…"

Then, she sat at one of the small tables with her pile of books and started her reading. She found at least five different sleep spells and dozens sorts of relaxing ones. In a far less recommended book, she shivered when she read the forgetting spell Willow once used to make her forget their arguments. That spell was among pages of spells of mind control. But none of them resembled what she needed.

She was closing the fourth book when Mrs. Applefresh came in. Tara looked up to her and saw the woman's questioning face.

"Have you found something my dear?" she asked.

Tara shook her head with a defeated look on her face.

"Not really," she answered. "I could try a relaxing spell or something like that but I'm pretty sure it won't be enough."

The bookshop owner nodded her understanding and went to the table where she sat in front of Tara after picking a few books on the shelves. As the blonde looked at her questioningly, the woman explained:

"It's noon, I've closed the shop for two hours. I'm going to help you."

Tara could not quite hide her surprise and started to stammer some thanks.

"Don't," interrupted Mrs. Applefresh. "It's been a long while since the last time I did magic for something useful. I'd be glad to help your friend."

Tara nodded and glanced at the books the woman took with her. Three of them were different volumes of "Healing magical wounds". Mrs. Applefresh handed the other she picked to Tara. That one was simply titled "Dark arts".

"It's a very rare edition," she explained. "There're a lot of frightening spells about terrible things such as resurrection spells or death spells but there's probably a section about mind control spells. Maybe you'll find yours."

Tara considered the given book silently and did not open it until Mrs. Applefresh opened hers.

"I'll take a look in those," she went on, gesturing to her "Healing magical wounds" volumes. "They're more about physical wounds or transformations magically inflicted but maybe I'll find something of use in the mind part."

Tara nodded and smiled weakly. Then, she opened the dark arts book and flipped quickly through the pages; avoiding the three hundred pages about resurrection to finally stop at the mind control section.

She started to read the impressive list of possible ways to control somebody's mind but quickly found out she was distracted by the previous hundreds pages dealing with resurrection. She could not help but glance at the previous half of the book and finally flip discreetly back through the pages without reading them.

She did not see Mrs. Applefresh noticing what she was doing and jumped slightly when she heard the woman:

"Resurrection is a fascinating concept," she said with a kindly smile. "And probably the darkest branch of magic. There's loads of theory about it in that book and some others. But I highly doubt there're a lot of witches or wizards here below who would be able to perform such rituals."

Finishing her sentence, she shivered, probably picturing said-rituals in her head.

"Or be willing to." She added.

Tara stared at her for a few seconds, her hand still absent-mindedly flicking through the book.

"H-how l-long ha-have you be-been prac-practising?" the blonde stammered shyly.

The woman looked up to her and smiled.

"Over forty years I 'd say," she answered. "Since I was born I think,"

"And y-you never heard of some-someone practising a re-resu-resurrection?" she finished in a whisper.

She seemed to think about the question then shook her head.

"No," she replied. "Well," she resumed after a brief waver. "I never heard about someone succeeding I mean. But some people probably tried. But you know, I've always lived here where it's not exactly the center of the magical world."

Tara nodded and looked down to her book as Mrs. Applefresh went on:

"You know, it's not what magic is for. Most of magical beings know that."

"I know," Tara replied firmly this time, looking up to face the other witch.

The woman nodded with a smile and Tara looked down once more. She tried to focus on the spells in front of her but her mind kept going from images of Willow, Xander, Anya and herself gathered in a cemetery on a hidden tombstone by a clear night more than three years ago, to images of herself, weak and lost, lying on a bed in a dark room. Only Mrs. Applefresh's voice made her come back to reality some time later.

"I think I've got something of interest," the woman hesitantly announced.

Tara looked up sharply and every resurrection-related thought vanished as her concern for Faith rushed back.

"There's a spell here, " the woman began. "It's about catatonic state consecutive to a shock but it could apply to your case maybe."

Tara got closer to the bookshop owner to be able to see what she was reading.

"…this kind of catatonic state may be consecutive to a violent emotional shock," Mrs. Applefresh was reading. "The victim's spirit is imprisoned in a loop of memories always coming back to the original point of the shock. Bringing back the victim to his senses means breaking the loop, allowing therefore the victim to come back to reality. The reader will notice that this state can also be the consequence of some dangerous dark magic spells."

Mrs. Applefresh fell silent and looked up at Tara.

"What do you think my dear?"

"It may be it," Tara approved. "But how can I break the spell?"

"You have to penetrate her mind," the woman stated, pushing the book closer to Tara.

The blonde read again the passage Mrs. Applefresh just told her and realization suddenly hit her.

"I remember!" she exclaimed. "Willow told me she did that spell to Buffy when Glory…"

She fell silent when she noticed Mrs. Applefresh's curious expression.

"You know someone who already performed that spell?" she asked.

As Tara nodded, the older witch added:

"It's not a very common spell,"

"Willow was not exactly common," Tara commented, not knowing where the comment came from.

"It's not a very much complicated spell either as it doesn't need rare ingredients," went on Mrs Applefresh, taking the book back. "I think I've got everything you will need in my personal reserve. But you've got to know it's a dangerous spell. For both of you."

"I know that." Tara answered. "But I'm going to do it."

Mrs. Applefresh stared at Tara silently for a few seconds, and then just nodded her understanding. She stood up and headed quickly for the door.

"I'm going to pick all the ingredients. I'll be right back."

Tara nodded and read the spell again and again until the woman came back with a few little bags in her right hand.

"Here they are," she announced.

She handed Tara the bags as the blonde witch was standing.

"Take the book with you," the woman offered. "You're at the Triullium lake hostel?" she asked. "When will you perform the spell?"

"As soon as I'm back," Tara answered immediately.

"Right. I'll come to check on you at the end of the afternoon," Mrs. Applefresh announced.

"Thanks," Tara replied gratefully, smiling softly at the other witch. "Thank you very much."

"It's nothing my dear," assured the older woman.

Tara gathered the bags and the book and headed for the door where the bookshop owner walked her.

"Good luck," she said as Tara waved her goodbye. "Be very careful."


	3. Act 2

Once at the hostel, Tara climbed the stairs two at a time, tightening her precious tools against her heart. The blonde hurried in the room she shared with Faith and she closed the door behind her. She deposited her items on the table and turned to Faith. The slayer was still in bed, her eyes now wide-open, looking blankly at the ceiling.

"Faith?" Tara tentatively called.

She got no reply as she expected. Tara turned back to the table and unpacked her ingredients. She mixed some powders, leaves and liquids in a bowl until she obtained a heavy sticky green mixture. She left it on the table and then arranged six candles around the bed where Faith lay. She returned to the table and seized the bowl before coming back to the brunette. She dipped two fingers in the container and spread some of the mixture on Faith's forehead.

"Good," she said out loud, once done.

She put the bowl near the bed and looked around, searching for Faith's jacket. She found it on the floor, scattered with the rest of Faith's clothes and most of their belongings. Tara reached it and rummaged through the pockets until she found Faith's lighter.

"Good," she repeated.

She came back to the table, took the book and went to the bed where she sat cross-legged at Faith's feet. She lit each candle around the bed with the lighter and nodded her approval when six little flames danced in the room.

"Good,"

Then, she opened "Healing magical wounds, volume three" on her knees at the right page. She read again carefully the instructions before picking up the bowl on the floor. She spread some more mixture on her own forehead, inhaled deeply and closed her eyes briefly.

"I can do it," she encouraged herself. "I can do it."

Her eyes returned to the book in front of her where she read the whole spell once more. She held out her hand to Faith's one and opened the brunette's palm. She dipped her fingers in the bowl again and coated Faith's palm with the mixture. Finally, she dipped her own palm in the bowl before returning the recipient to the carpet with her clean hand.

The blonde started to chant words in Latin under her breath with her eyes riveted to the book. Her voice trembled slightly and Tara could feel her heart beat faster and faster.

When she reached the last word of the chant, Tara held out her hand and clasped resolutely Faith's hand in her own.

She felt as her breath caught suddenly in her chest, she blinked at the sudden light and everything around her vanished out of sight.

***

When Tara opened her eyes, she was standing in a dark room and she had to wait a few seconds for her eyes to get acquainted to the darkness to take notice of her surroundings.

She was in a building's hallway. Rows of mailboxes were stuck against the left wall; Tara turned her head behind her where a double glass-door leaded outside where the night was falling.

Tara turned again upon hearing footsteps. In front of her were stairs and someone was slowly walking upstairs. Tara recognized immediately Faith's figure though her hair was shorter and the blonde could not clearly make out her outfit.

"Faith?" she tentatively called.

The brunette did not turn round to her nor did give any sign she heard Tara at all.

"Faith?" Tara repeated.

Faith stopped but she did not turn to Tara and just craned her neck as to see upstairs.

"Faith?" Tara tried again, her eyes glued to the slayer's unmoving figure.

Faith did not reply more this time and Tara finally took a step toward her. As she reached the stairs and was about to put a foot on the first step, everything suddenly blurred and vanished out of sight.

***

Tara was now in a living room. It was a small room, badly lit through a narrow dirty window. The furniture was spare and worn. An old sofa was facing a small TV put on a pile of old catalogues and Tara thought the television set could fall to the ground any minute. A tiny plastic table was pushed against the wall at the immediate left of the window. Two stools were arranged on each side of the table. A patched up dresser was the only other piece of furniture in the room. The walls were white and no pictures were decorating them. Only one door leaded outside the room where Tara could hear muffled sounds coming from.

"What're you doing here?"

Tara jumped at the voice and turned round sharply. A brunette little girl was now in front of her, her arms crossed over her chest, her brows furrowed, looking at her severely. Tara's jaw dropped.

The little girl could be around six and the pout on her face was unmistakable. Tara would probably have let escape a cry of surprise if she had found her voice.

"Faith?" she asked after a rather long silence.

The little girl almost smiled and slightly nodded. Without saying a word, she suddenly turned on her heels and gestured for Tara to follow. Tara obeyed mechanically, as her feet decided to follow the girl without her brain having telling them to do so.

The child trotted to the door and turned immediately on her left to cross another door. Tara remained in the doorway and observed little Faith entering a tiny kitchen. A woman was there, standing near the electric cooker. She was probably a little older than Tara, maybe in her late twenties or early thirties; but she looked terribly worn and exhausted. She had deep dark rings under her brown eyes and smiling at her daughter as she caught sight of her, appeared to be a terrible effort. Her dark hair hung free on her shoulders and the only color in her face came from her perfectly bright red lipsticked lips.

She was cooking. Apparently crepes as pointed the thick liquid in the salad bowl at the woman's side and the frying pan in her hands.

"Crepes!" little Faith happily exclaimed. "Crepes!"

She clapped her hands enthusiastically and her mother nodded. Faith jumped on a stool and the woman returned to her task, trying to make the crepes jump and turn above the frying pan. Each time she succeeded, the little girl applauded with much enthusiasm and shouting.

"Mum!" She shrieked suddenly in a high pitched-voice, "Mum, can I try? Can I try?"

She jumped down her stool even before her mother could answer and started to dance around her.

"Can I try? Please mum, let me try!"

"Faithie, please!" interrupted her mother briskly. "Just stop shouting!"

Faith fell silent at once and looked at her mother curiously, the good mood of the previous moment suddenly gone. The woman must have shouted louder than she intended because her expression softened immediately and she bended over her daughter, putting her hand to her cheek gently.

"I'm sorry to yell Faithie," she said in a low voice. "But I'm terribly tired. Just try to be quieter, okay?"

Faith nodded slowly, staring at her mother with an unreadable expression on her face.

"I will be mum," she promised solemnly. "But c-can I try?" she asked finally again after a silence.

Her mother smiled and nodded.

"Yes, you can," she answered. "Try not to break anything."

Faith nodded again and she climbed on the stool once more to be at counter's height. She seized the ladle and plunged it in the bowl. With her free hand, she took the frying pan and covered it with crepe pastry very carefully. Her mother leant against the counter and watched her efforts while taking a cigarette in a pack lying on the counter. She lit it and took a long puff as Faith sent a crepe above her pan. When she received it successfully back in the frying pan, the girl turned proudly to her mother and the woman applauded lightly.

"Good," she encouraged.

"I can do higher!" Faith exclaimed, her previous enthusiasm suddenly returned.

"Be careful," warned her mother.

Faith nodded and resumed her task under her mother's watch. She moved closer to her daughter and seized a bottle near the salad bowl. She drank a big mouthful directly from the bottle as Faith threw her crepe in the air.

Tara caught sight of the bottle's label and noticed it was a bottle of rum. It had probably been used to liven up the pastry. Little Faith received her crepe once more in the pan and she turned happily to her mother.

"See?" she enthusiastically asked. "Told you I could do higher!"

Her mother drank a new mouthful of rum and smiled at the girl who was staring at her, as waiting for her approval.

"You, little firecracker," said the mother fondly.

Then Tara saw little Faith smiling back and discovering dimples she wasn't sure she had seen yet. The blonde leant against the doorframe, smiling too, feeling privileged to watch such a scene. But she had no time to see more: the scene blurred without warning and vanished from Tara's sight.

***

She was back in the dark stairs. Tara looked around and saw the double glass-door behind her and Faith's figure taking slowly the steps a few feet higher. Something in there felt sickening and Tara regretted immediately the scene in the kitchen she just witnessed.

"Faith," she called, looking around again, like waiting for someone or something to attack them any second. "Faith, where are we?"

The brunette did not answer, nor acknowledge Tara's presence in any way. Instead, the stairs vanished once more.

***

In a flash of light, Tara found herself back in the kitchen she had just left. But it had changed. There was no trace neither of a pile of crepes, nor of the frying pan or the bowl of crepes pastry. It did not even smell like crepes had just been cooked. The room was darker than previously: it was obviously later, in the evening. The counter was dirty but Tara could not quite see what covered it.

She felt uneasy but did not know why. A weird feeling of fear was rising in her and if she thought about it, Tara was forced to admit she had no logical reason to be scared.

The reason why just came as she reached that conclusion.

"Faith!"

The anger in the voice that just yelled the slayer's name made Tara shiver from head to toes. It came from where she knew was the living room and Tara recognized this female voice though she only heard it once before. It was Faith's mother's voice. The blonde turned around, looking for the girl and was surprised to find her, kneeling in the semi darkness, near the very end of the counter, seemingly picking up from the ground, something Tara could not clearly make out. Her body was shaking and the little girl had a hard time completing her task.

"Faith!" yelled her mother again, her voice ringing strangely to Tara's ears. "What the fuck are you doing? What was this?"

Tara saw Faith looking around desperately, as searching an escape for whatever trouble she had put herself into. The girl hurried to pick up what was on the floor and Tara finally saw what it was: bits of broken glass. Faith collected hastily what she could, cutting her palms in the process and Tara heard her curse under her breath. The kid threw the pieces of glass to the thrash, then passed in front of Tara to take something in the sink.

Tara gasped in surprise. This Faith was older than the one she had witnessed cooking crepes before. She was taller; her hair was longer and tousled. Her face was emaciated and pale. She was probably ten or eleven now and seeing the expression on her face, Tara knew why she had felt fear when she arrived there. Fear was literally oozing from Faith and Tara felt it piercing her like a cutting blade.

The brunette picked a sponge in the sink and rushed to wipe the floor where an amber liquid was spilled. When she was done, she hurried to clean the sponge and left it in the sink.

"Faith!" came the unnerving shouting from the adjoining room.

The girl looked around again, obviously searching for something. Finding nothing, she eventually made up her mind to answer her mother's calls.

"Faith, do you want me to come and get you myself?"

"I… I'm coming m-m-mum…" the girl stammered, panic now overwhelming her.

Tara's heart constricted at the brunette's growing fear and at what she somehow knew was coming.

"Maybe I can help you?" she hastily asked to the little girl in an anguished voice.

For the first time, Faith acknowledged her presence, turning her head to the blonde. She did not smile and Tara saw herself reflected in sad brown eyes.

"You can't," Faith simply said.

"Why is that?" Tara pressed. "I'm a grown…"

Faith shook her head and interrupted her.

"You can't, 'cause it already happened."

She did not give Tara time to reply and headed for the living room, her steps somewhat faltering. The witch followed her and stopped dead in her tracks at the doorway. The living room was still spare and worn. There was no more furniture than the previous time Tara saw it. The room itself had not changed at all. What had changed on the other hand, were the many empty bottles of alcohol lying on the floor among other filths. Standing among the mess, Faith's mother glared at her daughter, fists on her hips, a nearly empty bottle in her right hand. Faith slowly stepped in, her head half bowed, but carefully watching her mother.

"Where is it?" snapped Mrs. Lehane before Faith could open her mouth to say something.

"I…I…" Faith began, almost tearfully, unable to find her voice.

Tara shook violently upon hearing Faith's stammering so badly. She could feel more than fear filling her entire being, and knew it was Faith's she was experiencing. She would do anything possible to help the little girl escape what was coming but her previous words kept ringing in Tara's ears: "You can't help, it already happened."

"I broke it." Faith finally managed to get out.

Faith's mother's eyes narrowed and her daughter did not have to wait for a reaction. The woman's jaw clenched and her eyes then opened wide as the little girl's words sank in. She suddenly threw the bottle she held violently toward Faith without warning. Faith ducked her head to avoid the bottle and it crashed noisily against the wall behind her, exploding in thousands of pieces.

"You! Little piece of filth!" Mrs. Lehane started to yell insanely. "You're not even able to carry a bottle properly!"

She walked to her daughter who instinctively put her hands over her face in a protective gesture but did not try to escape, seemingly nailed to her current spot.

"What will I do with you?" The mother pretended to ask the girl. "Of course nothing!" she answered, even loudly than previously.

When she reached the brunette, she seized her by her collar and started to shake her without any care.

"How can I do now?" she yelled in Faith's ear. "It was the last one!"

"I… I didn't do it on pur-purpose…" Faith weakly tried.

"Of course you didn't!"

Faith's mother punctuated her sentence by brutally throwing the girl against the wall behind. Her body crashed in with a noise of breaking bones that made Tara feeling nauseous. Faith started to cry softly and it was obvious to the witch that the child was trying to contain her tears, maybe in order not to upset her mother more, maybe in a weak attempt to keep some pride.

"Of course you didn't!" repeated the mother, closing quickly the distance to her daughter. "You're just unable to do anything good! You're just a worthless piece of shit!"

Mrs. Lehane served her insults with kicks and slaps at the girl crawling helplessly on the floor. Her tears intensified but it did not seem to soften her mother.

"Was it difficult Faith, what I asked from you?" the woman demanded. "Was it a great effort to carry me that little bottle? Did I forget to tell you how important it was?"

She shook her daughter's body again and Faith did not even try to defend herself and let her mother move her body like she was a jumping jack.

"Answer me!" she shouted, releasing finally the girl.

"N-no," Faith immediately complied her mother's order. "It-it wasn't difficult…"

"So what does it make you girl?"

"I… I am..." Faith started.

But she could not finish. A new slap from he mother interrupted her reply.

"You're what?" insisted her mother, her eyes shining with a mad glimmer.

"I'm just a worthless piece of shit…" Faith recited, like a lesson well learned.

"Exactly! A worthless piece of shit! A worthless waste of time and money!" went on the woman. "And now a waste of whiskey!"

Faith did not earn a reward for her good answer but just new kicks and blows. Tara heard new bones crack and saw blood oozing from the child's nose. Maybe it was the blood that made the mother stop hitting her daughter, but she finally indeed stopped.

She grasped Faith's shoulder and pulled her to her feet without care.

"Now, try to be of some use and go find another bottle."

Faith made the best of that break to wipe as quickly as she could both her tears and the blood oozing from her nose.

"But mum…" she began hesitantly. "It's night…" she finished in a whisper.

Her mother now inexpressive face returned to anger as quickly as it had turned to blank. A resounding slap knocked Faith off her feet.

"And why should I care?" yelled the mother. "I want that bottle, d'ya hear me?"

She kicked Faith again, ignoring the fact that her daughter now begged her for mercy.

"Mum, please! I didn't do it on purpose! I'm so sorry! I won't do it again, I promise!"

"Oh, you chose your moment to put on your show, didn't you?" the mother mockingly asked. "And what do you think? That your fake cries of remorse will get me? Who do you think I am?!"

She had yelled louder and louder and Tara wondered how the neighbors weren't awake already and how on earth nobody had already called the police. Maybe there were no neighbors. Maybe they were deaf. Or maybe they pretended not to hear. Cause everything outside the flat was desperately silent.

Tara wanted to cry. She wanted to yell. She wanted to throw up. This was now too much for her to bear. She could not just stay here doing nothing when a ten-years-old was being hit in front of her very eyes. It did not matter it already happened. She HAD to do something. Witnessing this was sickening her. She took a step toward the pair, her steps uneasy as her legs trembled.

"Stop," she said hesitantly. "Just stop now."

It did not affect the actions of Faith's mother, this one going on beating her daughter with much enthusiasm and strength.

"Stop! Now stop!" yelled Tara at the top of her lungs, the complete sight of a bruised and beaten childish Faith she caught, making the scene even more unbearable than previously.

And it stopped. But not as Tara intended. The scene blurred suddenly and Faith and her mother vanished out of sight. Tara felt like the world was spinning around her. She closed her eyes.

When she opened them again, she was back in her Trillium hotel room.

***

Tara blinked several times before understanding where she was. She tried to catch her breath and unlinked her fingers from Faith's, raising her trembling hands in front of her unfocused eyes. It took her several minutes to clear her mind and to get her pounding heart and short breath back to normal. Tara looked slowly around: the candles were still burning quietly on the floor, the magic book was still open on her knees. Faith was still lying in the bed in front of her. Tara hoped for a brief instant that if the spell had ended, it meant that Faith was out of her catatonic state.

She was disappointed. Nothing had changed in Faith's state, the slayer still looking blankly at the ceiling.

"Faith?" Tara nevertheless tried carefully.

The brunette did not answer as expected and Tara sighed. Faith's memories weren't exactly a welcoming place and Tara wasn't in a hurry to come back there to see what would come next. On the other hand, she could not just stay there doing nothing because she was afraid of what she would find in Faith's head.

Tara looked down at her right hand. It was still covered with mixture, just like Faith's palm. Tara sighed again and her eyes returned to the book. She chanted the incantation once more and just like before, as she reached the last word, she clasped Faith's hand in her own.

And just like the previous time, the motel room vanished out of sight.


	4. Act 3

Tara was not surprised this time to find herself on the first step in dark stairs. She was back in the first place she had visited thanks to the spell.

Faith was still slightly ahead of her, higher in the stairs, mostly concealed in the feeble light. The only thing Tara could clearly see was that Faith was way taller than in her others memories. Here, she was probably an adult or at least a teenager. She appeared to wear leather pants and jacket but Tara wasn't real sure.

The slayer kept looking upstairs and did not appear to be certain of what she was doing or where she was going.

"Faith, where are we?"

Faith did not answer this time either. And Tara almost rolled her eyes when she scene blurred once more to finally disappear.

***

For the third time, Tara found herself in the little living room of the flat where Faith had once grown up. But this time was way different from the previous times. It was broad daylight outside as Tara could see through the small window; and several persons were standing in the room.

Faith's mother was one of them. In the back of the room, she paced with a cigarette in her hand. Her hair was longer and dirtier than the last time Tara saw her and her face was puffy and bright red. Her jaw was clenched and a dark glimmer of anger shone in her tired eyes.

The floor was strewn with pieces of filth but this time, most of the empty bottles of alcohol were put on the small table.

Another woman and a man were present in the room too. They both were strictly dressed and something about them had Tara think they were probably members of some sort of administration. They were silently standing in the middle of the living room, apparently waiting for something, but closely watching Mrs. Lehane from the corner of their eyes.

Tara looked around: Faith was nowhere to be seen.

The sound of footsteps coming from the hallway made Tara turn toward the door. Another woman appeared in the doorway.

"We're ready," she announced simply.

Behind her, stood little Faith. She was slightly older than last time but just as thin and pale. She was wearing an old pair of blue jeans and a not-so-white sweater too big for her. She carried a little backpack on her right shoulder and kept her head down, obviously not daring to look at her mother.

Mrs. Lehane for her part came to life suddenly when she caught sight of her daughter.

"You! Worthless piece of shit!" she yelled her favorite insult at her daughter, heading menacingly toward her.

The man and the woman in the living room came to life as well to block her way.

"Mrs. Lehane, just be quiet! Don't move from here." The man ordered in a quiet but firm voice.

"Oh, what'd you think?" Faith's mother mockingly exclaimed. "You think I want her? You think I want to prevent you from taking her from me? You're so wrong my little boy!"

The man did not take the offense and just took care to prevent the woman to step closer to the hallway's door.

"I don't care about her!" Mrs. Lehane went on with her rambling monologue. "You can take her away! You're doing me a favor actually! You're getting me rid off her!"

She was nevertheless trying to move toward Faith and the man in the room had to seize her by her shoulders to hold her in place.

Tara's attention drifted away from Mrs. Lehane to land on her daughter. Faith still did not look at her mother. But Tara could feel her emotions like they were hers. Fear was still there. But unlike the previous time, little Faith was not only scared. Fear was melted with more violent feelings: anger and hatred. Faith hated her mother. Tara could feel it as clearly as if Faith had just loudly said it.

"You should try not to make your case worse Mrs. Lehane," warned the woman in the living room. "Just stay calm and be quiet."

But the mother was not willing to comply and drop the matter that easily.

"Are you happy now?" she yelled, addressing Faith directly. "Putting your own mother into trouble! You should be ashamed of yourself! After everything I waste for your worthless little ass!"

"Mrs. Lehane!" The man said in a warning voice, pushing gently the woman a little more away from the living room door.

"We're on our way Lexington," informed the woman who was in the lobby with Faith.

Lexington – the man in the living room – turned to his colleague and nodded.

"Right Baldwin, I'll be downstairs in a minute."

Baldwin nodded as well, then she gently pushed Faith toward the door of the flat. Faith glanced one last time at her mother and went out of the flat without a word. The woman in the living room followed them silently.

Tara finally headed for the hallway too and saw the brunette girl taking slowly the stairs with the woman at her side trying to comfort her. In the background, the blonde witch could hear Mrs. Lehane still rattling insults off, despite Lexington's best efforts to have her being quiet.

Tara wanted to take the stairs as well to follow Faith and the two women outside the building. But as she put her right foot on the first step, her surroundings blurred and vanished again.

***

Tara was half-surprised to record she was not back in the dark stairs as she expected. On the contrary, the room she found herself in now was bathed in a sweet sunlight.

She was in a little office, mostly occupied by a large desk and rows of shelves. On one side of the desk was sitting a man in his forties, with dark hair and gray eyes. He was wearing a black suit, a white shirt and a gray tie. And he looked really upset.

In front of him, a girl was casually slumped on a chair, her feet crossed on the desk, everything in her stance intending to tell she perfectly did not care about whatever was going on.

Tara recognized Faith in a glance. Her dark locks fell on her shoulders in a messy way; she wore a pair of worn blue jeans and a pair of dark leather boots. Her red top was slightly too small for her.

"Miss Lehane, I already told you to get your feet off my desk and to sit up!" the man exclaimed impatiently. "You're not at the foster care here!"

Faith smirked bitterly at this and Tara moved to have a better view of the girl. A few years had probably passed since that day when the social workers had taken her away from her mother and she was probably around thirteen now.

"Y'know they tell me I'm not in high school when I'm doing that there?" Faith mockingly asked.

The man looked slightly taken aback for a brief instant, but as Faith finally complied to put her feet back to the floor, he brushed the matter off with a wave of his hand.

"Well, I guess you know why you're here?" he asked.

Faith crossed her arms over her chest and did her best to pretend she had no idea and that she did not care anyway.

"Things are pretty much clear now Miss Lehane," the man resumed. "This is your third fight within a month, the…"

"He started it!" Faith protested vehemently. "It wasn't my fault!"

"If I listen to you, it is NEVER your fault," the man emphasized. "But you broke three of his ribs. Nothing gives you the right to… And it is not funny!" He added severely, standing in front of the brunette.

Faith hadn't helped a smile at the mention of the broken ribs but she suppressed it immediately at the man's tone.

He sat back in his chair, and went on:

"Plus, several teachers let me know they haven't even seen you during their classes for the whole semester. And the few of them you honored with your presence reported that you never handed in any homework. So…"

"I can't work at the foster care!" Faith tried to explain, a sullen look on her face.

"I guess you can't," replied the man in a tone making clear he did not believe it at all.

"I can't work, it's not my fault!" Faith insisted.

"Just listen to me now, miss Lehane," the man interrupted in a calm voice. "This is your last chance. And I mean it. I want you on your best behavior from that precise moment. Next time I hear any kind of bad news where you're involved, you're fired. Is that clear? Am I clear?"

Faith did not answer and looked away from the man. Tara could feel the brunette was angry and was doing her best to contain her anger. This felt unfair to Faith and she did not seem to be able to find the right words to explain her case.

"It's unfair." Was all she was able to whisper, too low for the man to hear.

"Am I clear?" he repeated firmly.

Faith did not look at him but she slowly nodded.

"Good," he approved. "I hope not to see you in a while, get out of here now."

He did not need to tell her twice. Faith rushed out without a word or a glance for the man and slammed the door behind her.

Tara followed her out the room and along several corridors. Faith walked quickly, her hands in her jeans pockets, furious and desperate at the same time.

"Faith," Tara quietly said. "Why don't you try to explain why this is unfair? If you don't explain, he can't…"

Surprisingly enough, Faith shrugged and answered, interrupting Tara.

"It doesn't matter," she said. "Even if I was smart enough to make out a full sentence, I'd be wrong anyway."

"Why is that?" Tara frowned.

"I'm from the wrong side." Faith dejectedly said.

But Tara didn't get the chance to ask what she meant. As they reached the bottom of the stairs, a group of three boys, slightly older than Faith, blocked their way.

"Hey Lehane," one of them mockingly exclaimed. "You fired?"

"You'd wish," Faith mumbled, walking straight between the boys, shoving one of them to clear her way.

"You're not?" replied the same boy, arching an eyebrow in surprise. "How come you're not?"

They quickly followed her, passed her to stand in her way again.

"You're in a hurry or what? Don't have time to explain how you did to convince him to keep you?"

Faith stopped and crossed her arms over her chest but didn't answer.

"Let me guess," the other one went on. "Did you have him pity you over your fancy clothing?"

He gestured to Faith's top and snorted with disgust. Tara saw her clench her fists and felt anger rising.

"Look at you Lehane!" he resumed after a second eying Faith from head to toes. "I'm sure your mother gave you this top for your tenth birthday! What do you think guys?"

"Shut up Millard!" Faith snapped as the other boys sniggered.

Either he didn't hear, or he pretended she did not even speak because he went on, ignoring Faith's threatening tone.

"And those jeans! Look at those jeans!" He snickered. "Stole them from a hobo?"

"Shut up Millard!" Faith hissed between clenched teeth. "Leave me alone!"

She pushed him aside but it only made the boy called Millard laugh and grab her shoulder to take her in place.

"I'm sure you've got a few minutes Lehane," he said in a harsh voice. "It's not like you've got someone waiting for you at home. Or any home at all."

Faith turned round sharply and faced him, her eyes blazing.

"Angry?" he went on mockingly. "What are you going to do?" he asked, stepping closer. "Hit me maybe?"

Millard moved nearer Faith with a mocking smile. She stepped back to put some distance between him and her but he stepped forward again until Faith hit the wall behind her.

"So, you're going to hit me Lehane?" asked the boy once more. "Or maybe something else?"

He moved even closer until almost pressing his body against the teenage girl's one and Tara felt a wave of disgust coming to her mouth.

"Don't touch me Millard!" Faith cried out, pushing him away.

The boys sniggered and the Millard boy moved closer again despite Faith's threatening and hysterical tone.

"But I heard you like that to be touched…" he whispered, faking a sweet voice.

Tara saw Faith clench her fists even more tightly than previously and felt her anger turn to fury. There was a floating moment of silence and uncertainty during which Faith tried to master her rage while her opponent was patiently waiting for her to fail as he pressed his body against hers even more.

"Hey guys!" A new cheerful feminine voice exclaimed.

Tara saw two teenage girls appearing at the corner of the corridor, smiling happily at the boys. As they got closer, their smile turned to a grimace when they recognized Faith.

"What are you doing? Are you talking to her?" the taller girl asked in a disgusted voice.

She stared at Faith from head to toes and arched a questioning eyebrow at Millard. He had an embarrassed little laugh and shrugged.

"Well, we were just trying to figure out how she did not to be fired." He explained.

The girl stared at Faith again, this time openly appalled. Then she looked away from her to turn to Millard and took his hand. She pulled him behind her and started to walk away without a glance for the brunette. The whole group followed as well, leaving Faith alone.

"What else did you expect from that little tramp?" Faith heard the girl asking the others in an obvious tone.

The brunette looked at them getting out, obviously shared between the burning desire to run after them and make them pay for their words and the urgent need to run away from here. The second choice got the better over the first and Faith finally turned on her heels. A few moments later, she was in the schoolyard. She crossed it at a quick pace, without a glance for the many students gathered there. Every of them looked curiously or amusingly at her but none of them tried to stop her to talk to her. They just looked her pass, sometimes whispered a few words in her back, before resuming their previous tasks.

"Faith!" Tara called after her. "Where are you going?"

But the teenager did not answer and hurried to get out of the school. Tara felt her need to be alone and stopped in front of the high school without thinking. Before she could decide whether or not she would follow the brunette, the choice was removed from her as her surroundings blurred and disappeared.

***

The dark stairs. Again. Tara sighed and started to wonder what all this meant. If this meant something at all.

"Faith!" she called the brunette ahead of her.

The slayer did not answer and Tara rolled her eyes. She started to climb the stairs, ready for the scene to blur and disappear once more.

But it did not.

Tara blinked in surprise and hurried to take the stairs two at a time to reach Faith. Just as she did, the slayer started to climb the stairs as well, this time for real. She stopped at the second floor and went successively to both doors on that floor to read the names on the doorbells. She slightly shook her head each time and finally took the stairs once more to go to the third floor.

As Tara reached it in turn, the feebly lit floor blurred and vanished.

***

"Lehane!"

Tara jumped as she recovered and was welcomed by the angry shouting of Faith's lastname.

"What?" came the equally angry reply.

Tara turned around to take sight of her surroundings. She was in some sort of dormitory as several bunk beds were filling the room she found herself in. The window was open and Tara could see the weather was beautiful outside. It was probably the end of the spring or the beginning of the summer. A loud music played in the room and Tara thought that the man yelling Faith's name had to shout really very loud for her to hear. In the back of the room, two teenage girls were sitting on the same bed and giggling together in a low voice. Faith for her part was lying on the bottom bed of the closest bunk beds to the door. She pushed herself up on her elbows upon hearing her name and waited for the man who called her to appear in the doorway. It did not take him a long time.

He was middle-sized, probably in his forties, balding, so large that he just fitted through the door. His fat face was even redder than usual, either from his anger or his quick climbing of the stairs and running to Faith's room. Or maybe both.

"What's up?" Faith asked in a casual voice, playing surprise although Tara thought the brunette perfectly knew what the problem was.

"This!" the man yelled, waving a piece of paper under Faith's nose, not paying attention that other girls were watching the scene. "You've been fired from high school!"

"Oh, this," Faith said, good-naturally.

She lay back on the bed, as if the matter was now closed. Tara waited for the man to be taken aback by her reaction, but he was not. He was obviously used to the brunette's attitude.

"You knew?" he asked.

But without giving her time to answer, he went on:

"Of course you knew!" he exclaimed angrily. "And have you thought about telling me or someone else here?"

"Why woulda done that?" Faith asked sarcastically.

"Oh, let me guess!" exclaimed the other in the same tone. "To let me know??"

Faith scoffed at him.

"Who cares anyway!"

"Oh, yeah, you're right, I don't care!" he angrily answered. "But you have to let me know of what happen at school!"

"Y'know now," Faith answered casually.

"Lehane, stop with this!" the man warned.

He crumpled the letter in his hand and threw the resulting ball of paper at Faith. She rose on her elbows at once, obviously upset with the ball of paper bouncing off her face.

"What do you plan to do with your life?" the man went on. "D'you think this can go on forever? Fights in high school, fights here, and fights wherever you go! And you just can't get some average grades! There's nothing useful you can do! You've been fired from everywhere and everything you've done! All you do is strolling around half-dressed! Look at you! Is this a decent clothing for a girl your age?"

He vaguely gestured at her, getting redder and redder with each word.

"Last time I checked, you liked this!" Faith replied bitterly and angrily, finally sitting up, revealing for Tara her indeed way too short tank top.

The man nearly choked and became even redder if that was possible.

"Shut up Lehane!" He yelled. "It's time you learn a little respect! No outing for you until we figure out what to do with you! I want you locked here thinking about all this!"

"What?" Faith exclaimed. "There's no way I'm gonna stick here for the whole days and nights!"

"You'll do what you're told at last!"

"I so won't!" Faith said, standing now angrily in front of the man. "I so won't!"

"I'm not giving you a choice kid," the man replied, in a calmer tone this time. "I'm sick and tired of you doing stupid things. As long as you're living here, you'll do what I say you do. Is that clear?"

Faith clenched her teeth and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at him defiantly.

"Then I'm outta here." Came her reply in a chilly voice.

"Oh yeah! Stop with that crap!" The man snorted. "You've got nowhere to go!"

"I don't care!" Faith spat, her temper higher and higher. "Here or nowhere, that's all the same!"

She suddenly rushed to the door and the man tried to seize her as she passed before him but she was too quick.

"Lehane!" He yelled angrily. "You better calm down! You're acting like a psycho!"

A door slammed in the distance and the man's words slowly faded away in Tara's ears as the scene vanished once more.

***

Tara looked around her to see where she had arrived this time. She was in the street. It was night but she was not cold. It was a nice night, the sky was clear and millions of stars could be perceived above the lights of the city.

Faith was quickly walking along the sidewalk, wearing a pair of black leather pants and a gray sleeveless tank top. A woman was on her heels, trying to follow her pace. From what Tara could see, the woman was probably in her early forties. She had brown and curly hair, green eyes and her skin was pale and delicate. Her pretty shirt and gray trousers perfectly contrasted with Faith's outfit.

"Will you ever stop following me?" Faith asked, annoyed. "I promise you'll get tired of this before me."

"I would not be so sure if I were you," the woman chuckled. "I am a very patient person, which is, I believe, not your case."

"How woulda know?" Faith shrugged. "You don't even know me."

"Oh, I know you better than you think Faith."

The brunette stopped dead in her tracks and turned to the woman, narrowing her eyes at her.

"How'd'you know my name?" she asked sharply.

"If you would let me…" the woman began to answer.

But Faith probably thought it was better to make some impression and added:

"You better spill 'cause I can beat you pretty hard to have my answer. Believe me, you don't want to see how strong I am. Don't trust my look." She said menacingly.

But her threats did not have the effect she expected at all: the woman started to laugh quietly, genuinely amused.

"What's so damn funny?" Faith angrily demanded.

"I'm sorry," the woman explained. "But I am perfectly aware of how strong you are. I even know you are so strong since very recently. Aren't you?"

Faith looked puzzled and the woman took advantage of the girl's surprise to make her point.

"I can explain where this super strength comes from. There is a point to it. You've got a higher purpose in your life than…"

But Faith stopped listening and resumed suddenly her walk.

"Faith, please listen to me!" the woman pleaded softly.

"Stop your bullshit," the brunette replied icily. "Don't waste my time."

"Like you've been so bloody busy lately!" The woman exclaimed. "I know what you have been doing," she went on, following Faith again. "It is more than three weeks now that you have been living like this on the streets, all alone. You perfectly know it cannot go on. What are your plans for your precious time?"

Faith stopped suddenly again and the woman almost bumped into her.

"Okay," the brunette said. "Y'know what? I just figure I'll go back to the foster care. I'll get some thrashing, stay inside pretending to think about how bad I've been behaving. And when I'll turn eighteen, I'll get kicked out and it will be it all over again. 'cept if I can convince some guy to give me what I need. I'm pretty good in that department."

Faith crossed her arms over her chest and looked furiously at the stranger.

"Happy now?" she concluded.

"I think I've got better plans for your future. Really."

Faith rolled her eyes and opened her arms in front of her in a dramatic gesture.

"And why is that? Who the hell are you? Are you fucking Santa Claus to offer me a future?"

"I'm afraid I am not Santa Claus," the woman chuckled. "I am a Watcher. From the Watcher council."

"A what?" Faith asked in a bewildered tone.

"I am your Watcher actually."

"My Watcher?" Faith repeated, stressing the word my.

"You are a slayer and I am your Watcher," the woman went on. "My…"

"Now you're sounding like my high school principal!" the brunette exclaimed.

The woman giggled softly but nevertheless went on:

"I am miss Sara Marple. I am a Watcher, which means my job is to watch over a slayer. You actually."

She paused, watching carefully Faith's reaction. As the girl appeared to wait for her to go on, Sara recited:

"Into each generation a slayer is born. One girl in all the world. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the slayer."

Faith's eyes widened at the words and dismissed them with a wave.

"Okay, you're fucking kidding me!" she hissed angrily. "Vampires! D'you think I'm stupid or what?"

She did not wait for an answer and turned on her heels, leaving with great strides. Sara Marple crossed her arms and inhaled deeply.

"Faith!" she called. "I'm telling you the truth."

"Oh yeah! Vampires are real! If you really think it's true, you need to see someone!" the brunette exclaimed in an ironic tone, turning round to face miss Marple and stepping back away from her. "Really, pal, think about it!"

Sara Marple smiled and started to follow Faith once again.

"What if I can prove it to you?" she asked.

"But you can't!"

"Okay, here what I am offering you," Sara Marple went on. "To show you my good will, I take you for dinner in the restaurant you want. I pay you the meal you want."

Faith stopped and stared at the woman with a look on her face telling her she had her full attention. Miss Marple smiled and closed the distance between them before going on.

"So, you will have a real meal like you have not in days. And then when you're full, you will have a walk with me and I will show you I'm telling the truth. If I'm not, you would have won a free dinner and it's all. What do you think?"

Faith eyed the woman from head to toes, obviously weighting her possible strength. After a few seconds, she finally made up her mind.

"That's a deal," she said in a wavering tone. "I guess I'm not taking any risk. And if you're a liar, I could still beat the crap out of you."

"Deal," Sara Marple chuckled. "Let's have a dinner."

***

The scene shifted delicately this time and Tara saw the woman, the girl and the street slowly vanishing and in their place appeared a whole new décor.

Tara saw miss Marple and Faith appearing again in front of her, in another place. They were now in what looked like a gym and Faith was seemingly training under Sara Marple's attentive watch, the woman sitting a few feet from the brunette.

"So, there's another one?" Faith asked, hitting hard a punching bag hanging from the ceiling.

"Yes, there's another slayer," Sara replied quietly. "I thought you listened to my answer the previous fifty-six times you asked."

Faith chuckled at this, while adding some kicks along to her punches.

"How'd you say her name was?" the brunette went on. "Something weird, like Bunny or something."

"Buffy Summers," Sara said. "She has been active for three years already, which is most impressive I have to say, especially for a slayer living on a hellmouth such as Sunnydale."

"How come there're two of us?" Faith followed her train of thoughts. "You said there's one and only one in each generation."

Sara rolled her eyes but nevertheless decided to answer the brunette's question.

"She drowned. Someone made her come back. But she was dead for a minute or so. Enough for the next slayer to be called."

"Which is me." Faith stated, rather proudly.

"No, actually," miss Marple set the brunette right. "Another slayer was called before you. Her name was Kendra if I recalled this correctly. You have been called when she died."

"Oh," whispered Faith, turning to her Watcher, to be almost knocked by the punching bag coming back to her.

"I will do everything in my power to make you the longest slayer to live." Sara said with a smile.

Faith nodded and returned immediately to punching the bag.

"I will be, I feel I'm made for this gig!" the slayer exclaimed, her previous enthusiasm returned.

Her efforts on the bag intensified and went wilder than previously.

"It will be fun to meet her, what'd you think?" she asked between two blows.

"Maybe, we will have the opportunity to go to Sunnydale to meet her and her Watcher. Maybe after the retreat. We'll see."

"When is this retreat again?" Faith asked, stopping to hit the bag again.

Tara could feel her tense, despite her efforts to hide it.

"It's in weeks, Faith. It's just a few days." Sara Marple answered. "And I will come back. You don't have to worry. I wont let you down." She added, clearing the unsaid concerns of her slayer.

"I'm not worried," Faith protested, trying to sound both hurt and casual.

She started to hit the bag again, with more strength than previously, almost in an angry-way.

"So, I'll get to meet Buffy, huh?" she insisted.

"Probably," Sara answered. "But now, stop with all the questions. You need to be more focused during your training sessions. And control your strength."

Miss Marple stood and came closer to Faith, a severe look on her face, clearly telling the brunette it was time to work seriously now.

"'Kay miss S," Faith answered with a chuckle.

"And for God's sake, stop calling me miss S. It's either miss Marple or Sara. But no miss S."

"'kay miss S," the slayer replied, grinning.

The scene then blurred and the last thing Tara saw, was Sara Marple rolling her eyes before the scene vanished out of sight.

***

Tara was now in a bedroom softly lit by a bedside lamp. The room had probably been some kind of office before because a desk was pushed in one corner and almost all the walls were covered with bookshelves. The bed stuck against the wall under the window was narrow but it was obvious no bigger bed would have fit in the room.

The blonde witch recognized Sara Marple's figure kneeling near the bed where another figure lay. She knew it was Faith but stepped closer to take a view of the brunette. Despite the warmth in the room, the slayer was mostly hidden under several layers of blankets. She shivered from time to time and her face was tired and paler than usual.

"You should drink this," Miss Marple said, handing Faith a cup of a steaming beverage.

"What's this?" Faith asked in a defiant tone.

Sara laughed lightly and pushed the cup further toward the slayer.

"Take it. It's not dangerous, it's a medicine I made for you," the Watcher insisted.

Faith grabbed the cup and sat up a little before smelling the liquid at Sara's great amusement.

"I added some vanilla for the taste," she explained. "I knew you wouldn't drink otherwise."

Faith chuckled and mouthed a thanks before taking a sip in the cup. She grimaced but nevertheless went on drinking as Sara Marple arched a severe eyebrow at her.

"You sure you added vanilla?" Faith playfully asked.

"Looks like you're feeling better," Sara remarked, taking the empty cup Faith gave her back.

"Yeah, I am," groaned Faith. "Minimal pain, minimal cold." She snorted.

"Don't worry, with your slayer healing, you will be okay in a day or two."

"What was this demon by the way? I thought I was supposed to kill demons of the blood-sucking sort! This one certainly didn't look like it!"

"There are a lot of different types of demons Faith, I'll teach you to recognize them."

"How?"

"See all the books in here?" Sara asked, motioning to the shelves around them. "All of them are about demons."

"You mean I'll have to read books?" Faith grimaced.

"You know Faith, that's what books are made for." Sara answered with a sweet smile. "To be read." She clarified.

"Well, what about you recognize 'em and I kill 'em? Sounds like a better plan to me."

Sara's smile grew wider but she shook her head.

"You never know what can happen. My job is to do my best to prepare you for whatever you can meet. And it includes learning from books."

Faith pouted but smiled back at her Watcher. The woman turned round and leaned over the floor where Tara saw her picking something.

"Oh, while I was out, I grabbed these for you," she said.

She handed Faith a set of comic books.

"Books more suitable for you I suppose," she grinned. "I thought you could use some entertainment while you have to stay in bed."

Faith took carefully the books from Sara, as they were the most precious things she ever held. She looked between the comics and her Watcher, and her mouth opened but she was obviously at a loss for words. Sara smiled and then pulled the blankets up to Faith's chin and stood.

"You shouldn't read them now anyway," she said. "Time to sleep now, you're still a little feverish. You need a good night sleep to recover."

Faith nodded and lay back on the mattress, the comics still her hand. Miss Marple switched off the light and headed for the door.

"Have a good night, Faith," she said.

"Hey, Sara," Faith tentatively called as the woman was about to get out.

"Yes?"

"Well, thank you," Faith whispered in a wavering tone. "For the books I mean." She paused. "For everything."

"You're welcome," Sara answered.

And she was out. Tara waited for the trademark blur preceding the end of each scene to appear. But nothing happened. She just stayed there, in the dark room, listening to Faith's breathing. She knew the slayer was not sleeping, she could feel her emotions running high, mixed with a great amount of tiredness. For a moment, she dreaded to be trapped in this particular memory with no idea of how to escape.

She sighed with relief when she heard footsteps in the corridor. A second after, Sara appeared again in the doorway. She stepped in silently, careful not to wake up Faith. She went to the bedside table and picked up the cup she had forgotten before. She glanced at Faith's figure, now only lit by the moon through the window. She saw that the slayer was still holding the comics and took them delicately from her hand before putting them on the floor. She appeared to hesitate for a fleeting moment. Finally she sat on the edge of the bed near the brunette. She lightly put her hand on Faith's forehead to check her temperature.

She nodded in inner approval and stayed some seconds there, just staring at the girl with her hand on her forehead. Then, she absent-mindedly started to stroke her hair gently. The slayer did not move, though Tara knew she just pretended to sleep. It lasted a few minutes and Tara was torn by a strange mix of feelings: her own fondness at the scene in front of her and the furious desire to cry along with the will to contain those tears she knew were Faith's.

Sara finally stood and left again, just whispering as she exited the room.

"She's a good kid."

In her bed, Faith did not move. And Tara waited a long moment in the dark, alone with the brunette until she finally fell asleep and the scene vanished at last.

***

There would be no sweetness of that kind in this new scene, Tara knew at once, when she found herself surrounded by a group of vampires in what looked like a deserted mansion. Two of them were firmly holding Faith between them, with her hands in her back. Her nose was bleeding, her face was bruised, and her hair was untidy and stuck to her cheeks with a mixture of blood and sweat. She looked terrified but nevertheless tried to struggle to escape the vampires holding her captive.

A few feet from her stood two other vampires. One of them was black and was casually watching the scene while the other was…ugly, deformed and one-eyed, his missing eye obviously the result of a recent wound. He looked so monstrous that Tara let escape a gasp of disgust when her glance landed on his face.

At his feet, lay the figure of a woman. She also had been beaten up, blood oozing from a bite on her neck and from various wounds on her arms. Tara would think she was dead if it was not for the convulsions shaking her body. She slowly looked up and Tara saw her face, bruised, scratched and teary. It was Sara Marple as Tara had already guessed.

"What did you think?" asked the terrifying voice of the hideous vampire above miss Marple, addressing both the woman and Faith in front of him. "You thought I'd let you get away with that?" he pointed at his missing eye.

He leaned forward and grabbed the Watcher's shirt to get her up. She tried to stand proudly in front of him but her legs were failing her and she hang miserably at arm's length.

"Think again," went on the vampire.

He suddenly raised his free hand and drove a wooden stake he was holding directly through Sara's right eye without warning. A cry of agony mixed with Faith's shouting pierced Tara's ears and she closed her eyes at the sight.

When she opened them again, miss Marple lay at the vampire's feet, her hands covering her face, her body shaking with heart-breaking sobs.

"Kakistos is not one you can defy without consequences," the vampire said menacingly. "You took my eye, slayer and I take hers. Just before yours."

He strode over miss Marple's body and headed toward Faith who was still struggling to get free, her terrified eyes riveted to the tall vampire.

"No, not her…" protested miss Marple's weak voice. "Leave her alone… Not…not her…"

Kakistos stopped and turned round to the Watcher. The woman was trying to sit up, one of her hand still covering her wounded face.

"Isn't that sweet?" asked Kakistos ironically.

He came back to the Watcher and looked down at her, a cruel smile playing on his lips.

"You're right, dear Watcher," he said. "Let's do it in the right order. Let's start with the brave mother-like trying to protect her poor child. Watcher/Slayer, what a fascinating relationship!"

He gestured to the black vampire who had just remained still until then. This one nodded his head to Kakistos in understanding and went to Sara. He carelessly grabbed her and put her to her feet but she was barely standing.

Kakistos then gestured in the same fashion to the vampires holding Faith and one of them immediately released her to come to help his black friend to hold miss Marple up, facing her slayer.

Faith did not even register there was just one vampire left to keep her still, her eyes wide-open, her mouth and her legs trembling, staring at her wounded Watcher, panic rising to higher level in her.

"No…" she mouthed.

"Look at this, slayer," Kakistos said, turning to the brunette. "This is the rehearsal. Then, will come the show. And you'll get the main role."

"No," Faith weakly repeated.

Kakistos turned back to miss Marple and Tara saw the Watcher trying to fix her remaining eye on her slayer. She whispered something Tara could not make out, as well as Faith.

"Let's take care of you, Watcher," Kakistos announced, licking his lips. "This will be such a pleasure. Open your eyes wide, kid," he added, addressing Faith.

He raised his hand above Sara and suddenly, everything went black for Tara. She could not see anything anymore. She was just surrounded by blackness, but she heard such terrifying screaming that she felt all her hairs suddenly erecting and her heart constricting violently in her chest.

Then the screaming was almost immediately followed by miss Marple's terribly weak voice.

"Faith…" her voice sounded like a desperate rattle. "Su-sunnydale, go to Sunnydale… Get help… get Bu…"

Her voice faded away, while at the same time, the sound of something loudly cracking came to Tara's ears. The blonde violently shook, only able to imagine what she could not see.

Two mixed screaming rang this time, one of agony Tara knew was Sara's and one of terror, rage and pain that was Faith's.

It was followed by muffled sounds of a confused battle, quick footsteps, labored breathing and finally Kakistos' hysterical laugh.

"Too late, poor useless powerless Slayer!" he exclaimed gleefully. "Look at this, girl!"

Blackness dissolved then but the scene around remained slightly blurred and imprecise. Tara could not clearly make out what Kakistos was showing Faith - something long, viscid, dripping - but she felt loathing and repulsion more powerful than any she ever felt before mounting in her and was so close to throw up she put her hands over her mouth, just in case. The emotions were running so high she felt dizzy for a moment and had a hard time to focus on whatever was going on.

Next thing she knew, she was running along Faith in a dark corridor, barely seeing where they were going. She heard footsteps behind and Kakistos' furious screams.

"Catch her again! And I want her alive!"

Tara could feel a surge of panic twisting the already terrified Faith. But it was fear that had Faith running so fast, despite her wounds and her pain. Faith's mother must have terrified her daughter but this was another kind of dread. If Tara did not know the girl had survived this frightening night, right now, she would be genuinely concerned by the brunette's survival.

She was wondering how Faith had escaped her chasers when the reply to the unanswered question appeared in front of her in the form of a window. Faith did not even blink or waver and jumped with her hands raised in front of her in a protective stance to throw herself out of the window without a second thought.

Tara felt herself falling and just before she hit the ground, everything vanished.


	5. Act 4

Dark stairs again. Faith was exactly where Tara had left her last time. Checking out names on the doors on the third floor.

Tara vaguely thought there probably was something important in here. But she was still shaken by the scene she just witnessed and was not really paying attention at what Faith was currently doing.

It took her minutes to make the terrifying screaming in her head fade away and to focus on the current Faith.

"Where are we?" she asked, finally finding her voice.

Faith did not appear to register Tara's question and shrugged angrily at the name above the doorbell in front of her, this one obviously not being what she expected.

"Fuck," she growled and Tara almost jumped upon hearing her voice. "Still not this one."

Then, she climbed the steps once more, but taking them two at a time now. Before Tara actually realised, the Slayer was already on the next floor.

Tara considered the new flight of steps and rolled her eyes.

"Who would have thought it would be so tiring to get into someone's head?" she mumbled.

***

Next stop, Tara almost thought she recognized the place she ended up this time. A motel room. A crappy motel room like the ones they had been sharing for months. Dirty white walls. Spare furniture. A television set so old that Tara thought it might be here just to decorate the room and made it feel less empty. She wondered if she recalled that particular room or not when a door in the room opened, making Tara jump slightly. She turned around to saw Faith exiting the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her shoulders, wearing a pair of black shorts and a white tank top. She was not the Faith Tara knew but a younger Faith. Her hair was shorter, her face more juvenile. She appeared to be a little tired and had a bad cut on her left forearm, but apart from this, she looked rather healthy.

She slumped on the bed and reached to the bedside table where she grabbed a piece of absorbent cotton and a bottle of disinfectant. She painted her cut with it then tried to bandage the wound with her other hand. The task was not very easy and Faith had a hard time with it. After a short time trying silently and carefully, the Slayer started to show signs of impatience and to bitch under her breath loud enough for Tara to hear.

"Damn fucking thingie! Y'know I'm gonna win in the end?"

It took minutes for Faith to succeed. When she was finally done, she threw the remaining bandage back to the bedside table and leaned against the wall behind her. She remained still for a few seconds, then leaned over the floor and rummaged beside the bed. When she sat up, she held a few comic books in her good hand. She opened one on her knees and skimmed through it absent-mindedly but she was obviously distracted. She closed it quickly and opened another one. And then a third one. But none of her comics seemed to be able to satisfy her. Tara felt the slayer was agitated and angry. But the reason of her anger remained unclear.

Not for long.

"Damn Buffy! It's all her fault!" grumbled Faith out loud, slamming her fifth comic book. "All the time with her precious Scooby gang! Why would she care about the second-rate Slayer when she's the one in charge?"

She took back a comic, flipping though the pages without even glancing at them.

"New slayer in town, two slayers at the same time for the first time in history, you'd think the girl'd be interested!" Faith went on her rambling. "But no! Not a damn for the other slayer! Cuddling with her vampire is so more interesting!"

She threw the comic away once more, a sullen look on her face.

"Fuck!" she exclaimed after a few seconds of silence.

She grabbed the remote control on the bedside table and switched the TV on. The Sunnydale news appeared on the screen, the image somehow blurred and deformed. Faith grimaced and flicked to another channel, then to another and another, never finding something pleasant enough for her taste. She came back to the news and tossed the remote control away. She crossed her arms over her chest and remained still on the bed, not really watching the TV, thousands thoughts obviously playing on her mind.

Minutes went by before someone knocked at the door. Faith jumped literally from her bed and went to open. The door revealed a pizza delivery boy.

His cheeks reddened a little when he took sight of the brunette and he started to speak twice before finally getting his sentence out.

"Hey m'dam, here the pizzas you ordered," he announced, handing her two large pizza boxes.

Faith seized them and put them on the bed.

"It's thirty-two dollars m'dam," the boy added, not putting his eyes off her.

Faith looked around, grabbed her jeans on the floor and rummaged through the pockets. She got a few bucks out but Tara knew at first glance there was not thirty dollars there. Faith glanced at the door where the boy was waiting and grimaced.

She rummaged through her jackets' pockets as well but found nothing more. She sighed and went back to the door.

"I'm sorry cutie," she started, her most beautiful smile plastered on her face. "But I'm kinda short of cash right now. Hum… I'll pay you tomorrow, okay?"

The boy looked embarrassed as Faith addressed him what was probably her most pleading look.

"Well, " he started hesitantly. "I'm not sure I can… Y'know, my boss won't be happy and…"

"Please…" Faith pleaded, stepping closer until she almost touched him. "I keep ordering pizzas. You like it when I order pizzas, don't you?"

"Well…" he went on, more and more embarrassed. "That's pretty much the point… I can't… you know… not make you pay every time…"

Faith nodded in understanding and got even closer.

"I get it. I promise I'll have the cash tomorrow. Please."

She batted her eyes and added a charming smile and put her hand on the boy's left hip. He jumped slightly at the contact.

"'Got others orders to deliver," he said quickly. "I'll come back tomorrow then."

"Cool," Faith said, a forced smile widening on her face. "See you tomorrow then."

He nodded, turned on her heels and went away. Faith slammed the door when he was out of sight and leaned on the pane, her smile now disappeared. She sighed deeply and remained there for a brief moment.

"Lucky me I'm still good…" she mumbled for herself.

She glanced at the pizzas on her bed and had a little smile.

"Let's go eating now."

***

The décor shifted once more and Tara refrained herself from crying out when she took sight of the person facing Faith in the office where she now stood.

Willow.

Tara had nearly forgotten that her girlfriend had once been so young. Had once looked so juvenile, innocent and sweet.

Faith on the other hand, did not look innocent at all, though she looked a lot younger than the Faith Tara knew. She and Willow faced each other in a quite dark office. Books were scattered on the floor, opened, as someone had been interrupted reading them.

"Anyone with brains, anyone who knew what was going to happen to her, would try to claw her way out of this place. But you, you just can't stop Nancy Drew-ing, can you? Guess now you know too much and that kinda just naturally leads to killing." Faith was telling Willow in a chilling voice, and Tara could not help herself but wince at the slayer's tone and smiled fondly at the same time at Willow's silly behavior there.

"Faith, wait. I want to talk to you." Willow answered in an almost pleading tone.

"Oh yeah? Give me the speech again, please. Faith, we're still your friends. We can help you. It's not too late." The brunette replied sarcastically.

A smile crept its way to Willow's lips and her response was not something either Faith or Tara expected.

"It's way too late." She said, and she sounded terribly confident for someone Faith could kill any minute. "You know, it didn't have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo hoo! Poor you."

Tara's eyes opened wide and the blonde arched an eyebrow. She just could not believe what she was witnessing and hearing.

"You know, you had a lot more in your life than some people." Willow went on as Faith's smile had vanished off her face. "I mean, you had friends in your life like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a Slayer and now you're nothing. You're just a big selfish, worthless waste."

The read-head delivered the last part with an evident pleasure, any trace of fear replaced with the satisfaction to hurt Faith.

'You're just a big selfish, worthless waste'. Worthless waste. The words sounded strangely familiar. As Tara felt Faith's anger rising, she looked at how Willow looked satisfied with herself. The blonde had learned the hard way that Willow was not only able, but really good, at hurting people. She realized it had never occurred to her that the redhead could be so mean before they met. That it had not begun with her or with the magic.

She tore her gaze off Willow to look at Faith's blank expression. The hurt was obvious on the Slayer's face though she tried her best to hide it. But Tara felt her rage and hatred boiling in her veins like a poison. Tara thought her reaction would probably be terrible and could not help but worrying for Willow, even if some part of her somewhat felt sorry for Faith at the same time.

But she did not get to see what happened next. The scene blurred and disappeared before any of the protagonists made another move.

***

Tara blinked. And everything around her was different.

She was now in a cemetery at night. Just at her direct left, a younger Giles was sitting on a rock bench, a note pad on his left leg crossed over his right one, a glass of tea in his hand. A thermos bottle stood on the bench right beside him. He was obviously having a good time as told the smile on his lips as, in front of Tara, Buffy and Faith gave each other a high five in celebration, both of them holding a stake in their free hand.

"Synchronized slaying," Buffy said.

"New Olympic category?" Faith replied with a genuine smile.

And with that, the Slayers vanished from Tara's sight.

***

They were back in a very different situation at Tara's next blink.

They were now on a terrace. It was night. A very mild and clear night.

The slayers were fighting, bonded together by a pair of handcuffs. It was a very intense and brutal fight.

"What's the matter? All that killing and you afraid to die?" Buffy questioned angrily.

Faith managed to snap the handcuffs and grabbed a length of a pipe to face Buffy. The blonde pulled out a knife. A very big knife.

"That's mine." Faith claimed.

"You're about to get it back." Buffy answered darkly.

They exchanged new blows, Faith dodging the knife, until reaching the edge of the terrace.

"Man, I'm going to miss this." Faith smirked as she got hold of Buffy.

There was a fleeting moment during which the slayers stared at each other and Tara wondered how this would end.

Then, Buffy broke suddenly Faith's grip and plunged the knife into the dark-haired slayer's abdomen. Faith looked stunned for a moment and Tara felt her immense surprise filling her.

"You did it…" she whispered weakly the second after, a light smile playing on her lips.

"You killed me." She added and pushed Buffy away from her with a punch.

She made the better of what strength left she had and climbed on the wall at the edge of the terrace behind her. She glanced under her before looking back at Buffy.

"Still won't help your boy, though. Shoulda been there, B, quite a ride."

She fell backward off the wall before Buffy could make a move. Her eyes closed and Tara felt the world spinning and vanishing around her.

***

She was not quite sure she had arrived somewhere to be seen when the falling sensation stopped. She could not see a thing and before she could focus on her surroundings, she heard Faith's voice screaming as loud as she could:

"Everybody get down!"

She felt fear around her and this was over before she knew it.

***

"No, Faith, no!"

Buffy's anguished voice welcomed Tara next. She found herself next to both Slayers, each of them staring at a man sitting on the ground, his back against a garbage can, blood pouring from his mouth. He raised his hand at Buffy who was kneeling beside him, and tried to say something. A step back from them stood Faith. The brunette held a bloodied stake in her right hand and looked as if lightning had just stricken her. She was unable to say a word, unable to move a muscle, unable to believe what had just happened.

Tara felt almost dizzy at how Faith's emotions were running high and filling her. She held her hand toward Faith to try to comfort the dark-haired slayer without even thinking about it. But before she actually touched her shoulder, the scene disappeared again.

***

A new one appeared in front of her but Tara had just time to catch sight of Buffy and Faith walking casually in a street before the scene was replaced with another one she perfectly remembered.

"He w-w-w-w-what? You gonna get that sentence out sometime tonight?" mocked a fake Buffy to a younger Tara.

Current Tara felt the hurt again but she did not have time to reflect more about it as the Bronze disappeared too to let its place to a quick flash of Buffy and Faith fighting again.

Then came another flash. And then another. And another. And another. All appearing quickly in front of Tara's eyes just to disappear the second after:

Kid Faith grinning at her mother before jumping from a rock into water. Kid Faith backing against a wall with a terrified look on her face as a threatening shadow loomed over her. Teen Faith kissing a boy Tara couldn't quite see in a dark room. Faith fighting. Faith leaning against a wall in a prison yard. Faith and Buffy standing face to face in a graveyard just before Buffy punched the brunette's face. Riley and Faith in bed when Faith was in Buffy's body. Faith fighting. Faith talking to Kennedy and another girl Tara had never seen in Revello Drive's kitchen. Faith dancing. Faith running. Faith fighting. Faith and Buffy arm-in-arm in Sunnydale's High library, all smiles talking to Willow, Xander, Oz and a girl Tara recognized as Cordelia. Kid Faith looking up slowly from her plate as she's eating. Faith walking alone in the streets of Sunnydale. Kid Faith crying. Faith fighting. Faith lying in a bed, holding the scythe. Faith crying. Faith fighting. Buffy stabbing Faith. Faith staking Allan Finch. Faith fighting. Tara slapping Faith under Riley and Sam's bewildered stare. Faith playing soccer with Leo in the backyard. Faith fighting.

"Faith! Stop that!" suddenly screamed Tara at the top of her lungs.

The blonde was feeling dizzy at the whirl of images she was witnessing. She tried to concentrate on each of them and to make sense of what she was seeing, trying to link each of these events together to understand what to do next. But the images unfolded quicker and quicker and Tara was about to lose her focus in this motley mix of colors and feelings.

"Faith! Stop!" She repeated, nearly out of breath. "This must mean something. Show me what!"

As she had just found the "stop" button of the remote control, the images stopped suddenly to be replaced by a total blackness. Tara sighed with relief first, then carefully looked around her to see where she had arrived. But she could not see the slightest thing. Concentrating all her attention, she finally heard the low sound of someone softly crying, not too far from her.

"Faith?" she gently asked. "Is that you?"

She did not get an answer and the scene vanished in a white and dazzling flash of light.

***

And there were the dark stairs again. Faith was now on the fourth floor, standing in front of a door and Tara knew somehow that the Slayer had found what she had been searching. Her fist rose, ready to knock at the door.

Tara felt a pang of conflict playing at Faith's heart. A discreet, slight pang of conflict. But it was there.

And Faith's hand came back to her side without having done anything.

***

The moment after, Tara found herself in a nice apartment bathed in the sweet light of the end of the afternoon. Faith was there, facing a man much older than her whom Tara recognized as being mayor Wilkins. The blonde could not help but chuckle when she saw Faith wearing a pink and white summer dress that made her look so… different. And she obviously did not like it at all.

"I feel I look stupid in this." Faith grumbled, uneasy.

"You look lovely." The mayor disagreed. "Perfect for the Ascension. Any boys that manage to survive will be lining up to ask you out."

"It just isn't me, though." Protested Faith without looking at the mayor and playing with the collar of her dress.

"Not you?" the mayor resumed surprisingly.

He got up and came to her.

"Let me tell you something. Nobody knows what you are. Not even you, little Miss Seen-it-all. The Ascension isn't just my day. It's yours too. Your day to blossom, to show the world what a powerful girl you are. I think of what you've done, what I know you will do"

He gently caressed her cheek and a strange feeling seized Tara.

"No father could be prouder."

Willow: Faith!

***

Tara found herself back to Faith's side on the fourth floor, in front of a closed door. She tried to read the name on the doorbell but it was too dark for her to succeed.

Faith's fist rose once more to the door and she knocked this time. She waited for a few seconds and as no answer came, she knocked again, more resolutely. Tara turned to her to get a better view of the Slayer but the scene flashed again. Tara jumped when she saw Kakistos again, evilly laughing at a terrified Faith. It did not last though, and was soon replaced with a fight scene of Buffy and Faith taking place in a church.

"You're nothing! You murderous bitch!" was screaming Faith in Buffy's body while punching her counterpart with rage.

The scene flashed again and Tara could not quite exactly see what appeared in front of her as it disappeared too quickly, and she eventually came back in front of the door where Faith was knocking for the third time.

The door finally opened and a man appeared in the doorway, revealing a rather dim apartment in his back. He was balding, wore glasses, a white striped shirt and a brown cardigan and sported a bow tie. He was obviously out of fashion.

Tara wasn't surprised to hear how Faith called him.

"Hi, I'm looking for Professor Wirth."

"Oh, well, that's me, but I should ask you to come back during office hours. Students generally make an appointment," the man answered pointedly.

"Uh, I'm not from the college. I work for Mayor Wilkins. I'm Faith." The slayer replied and something in her voice, in her rising confidence and resolve made Tara's blood run cold.

A pleased smiled appeared on the man's face and he gestured for her to come in.

"Oh, well, come in, please. I was so surprised when he called." He said in the meantime. "Didn't expect a politician to be interested in my research."

"He's big fan professor," Faith informed.

"Oh, Lester's fine." The man replied with a warming smile.

"We alone here, Lester?" Faith asked, as she followed him inside the apartment.

Slight surprise at the question played on his face as he answered.

"Well, yes. Lifelong bachelor. I like my space."

"I hear that." Faith answered while looking around her.

She then all naturally produced a knife from her jacket and casually told the professor:

"You want to turn and face the wall, Lester."

The man's eyes widened in surprise as he saw the weapon and he looked between it and Faith's face once or twice before asking:

"What are you doing? "

"I'll make it quick." Faith promised.

"Put that away. I'll scream. " Tried the professor.

"Who wouldn't? " Faith replied in a chilling tone.

"Please. " He begged, slightly stepping back.

"Sorry, friend," Faith lazily apologized. "Boss wants you dead."

"Why?"

Faith closed the remaining distance between her and her victim, and without a second thought, she stabbed him, so wildly that Tara let escape an horrified scream.

"You know, I never thought to ask." Faith replied the professor's last question.

The man's eyes stared at Faith with a glimmer of incomprehension and surprise. He tried to say something but it was too much for him and his body collapsed a little. Faith then took her blade out sharply and the professor slid down the wall before falling flat on the floor. The Slayer remained some time motionless, staring at her victim with a blank look, still holding firmly her knife in her right hand. After several minutes, Faith bent down to kneel beside the professor's body, and doing so, she put her foot into the blood pool forming there. She did not appear to notice and she quickly put her hand to the man's neck to check if he was dead. Then she seized the professor's cardigan and quickly wiped the blood of the blade of her knife with the cloth. She then turned it several times between her fingers to check if it was perfectly clean and wiped it a second time. When she was finally satisfied, she put the weapon back in her jacket. She stood back up, and as she was about to get out, she cast a glance around the room and her eyes met Tara's. The blonde stood a few feet from her and looked at her, livid, her hands in front of her mouth, her face horrified.

Tara wanted to say something but the words choked in her mouth and it appeared that she could not move any muscle of her body. They stared at each other for a moment that seemed to last an eternity to Tara but probably did not last more than a few seconds. Faith eventually broke the uneasy silence:

"What?" she spat with such aggressiveness that Tara jumped in fear at the outburst and stepped back. "You knew about it, didn't you?"

The blonde searched for her words to answer but met no more success than previously. Anyway, Faith did not wait for her answer. She turned on her heels and left the appartment without even glancing at professor Wirth's lifeless body.

***

The motel room was silent and unmoving; the candles were burning their ends. Tara slowly opened her eyes and breathed in relief when she noticed she was back in the real world. She glanced at Faith, still laying in front of her and slowly released her palm with a grimace, disappointed the slayer was still unconscious.

But her disappointment did not last. Just as Faith's palm lay back on the bed, the brunette's eyes suddenly burst opened and she sat up so abruptly that Tara jumped back and almost fell of the bed. She caught her breath and watched the slayer carefully while sitting back in front of her. Faith looked slightly bewildered but the light was back in her dark eyes.

"Goddess, you're back!" the blonde exclaimed in a trembling voice. "I thought I…"

Her throat constricted with emotion and she fell silent.

Faith looked at her blankly for a moment, then, as something had suddenly clicked in her mind, she briskly jumped of the bed, standing in a fighting stance, her eyes blazing. Startled, Tara nearly fell of the bed once more.

"Where's that bitch?" Faith growled, looking around, as waiting for Kira to appear.

She did not give Tara time to answer and repeated in a harsh voice:

"Where is she? What happened?"

"Sh-she's go-gone…" Tara replied, hesitantly, now slightly afraid by the anger she could see in the slayer's eyes. "She p-put a spell on you and flew a-way."

Faith's stance loosened a bit but she stared coldly at Tara.

"What kind of spell?" she asked briskly.

"A mind-spell," Tara carefully explained. "I reversed it. You're okay now."

Faith looked away and Tara held back her breath for a second, worrying about Faith's next move or outburst.

But Faith did not pay her any more attention. She considered herself, then gathered her clothes and dressed hastily in silence. Then, she grabbed some weapons and headed for the door.

"What are you doing?" Tara asked.

"Gonna see if I can find her," Faith darkly answered.

"Faith, you won't find her, she's gone. Plus, if you do find her, she's dangerous and…"

But Faith was not listening and the door slammed before Tara finished her sentence.

***

When she came back, hours later, the room was tidy and clean. There was no more clothes scattered all around and a sweet perfume could be smelt. Faith noticed several plates arranged on the dresser and the table as well. Tara was sitting on the perfectly made bed, reading a book.

She looked up from her reading when Faith entered and smiled shyly at the brunette. Faith tossed her jacket on the bed and went to the dresser to examine the plates that were not there when she had left sooner.

"What's this?" she curtly asked.

"Mrs. Applefresh dropped in a short while ago to check on us. She cooked those for us. Figured we would starve after the spell." Tara explained softly.

Faith nodded slightly and went back to discover all the pies and tarts the bookshop owner had cooked for them.

"Looks nice," she commented.

"Yes, she has been nice to me. To us." Tara replied.

She got up and went to the dresser with Faith.

"I already cut some of them," Tara explained. "What do you want to start with? Leek pie?" she gestured to one of the pie and grabbed a plastic plate where she served Faith a huge piece of pie.

Faith nodded and a mischievous grin appeared on her lips.

"That'll be good, but I could use some meat or something y'know,"

Tara smiled back and added a piece of quiche Lorraine with the leek pie one.

"That'll be a start," Faith approved, seizing the plate Tara handed her. "Thanks,"

She headed to the bed and plopped down heavily on the mattress, her plate and a fork in hands. She started to eat eagerly and did not look up from her plate when Tara met her on the bed with her own plate. The blonde started to eat as well, glancing from time to time at Faith, obviously searching for her words. She waited for Faith to overcome her plate and another one after.

"So," she finally started hesitantly as the slayer was cutting into her third plate. "What did you do?"

Faith looked up at Tara and a glimmer of surprise shone in her brown eyes.

"What?" she asked.

"You left pretty much a long time," Tara explained carefully. "I just wondered… You know…"

Faith shrugged and returned to her plate.

"Nothing big," she answered casually. "Walked the surroundings. Slay a few vampires. But I didn't find much. And no sign of this evil bitch."

She spat the last part bitterly, still avoiding Tara's eyes, cutting furiously pieces in her part of pie. Tara watched her doing so silently for a long moment. When Faith finally started to eat again, she leaned back against the wall, at the top of the bed.

"Faith," she began in a soft voice. "I didn't know you had a Watcher before you came to Sunnydale." She said, trying to choose her words carefully.

Faith's head jerked up and she stared at Tara with an unreadable expression for a brief second.

"Listen Blondie," she said coldly, trying to master the trembling in her voice. "You saw that crap, that's one thing. But it doesn't mean I wanna talk about it. We clear?"

She suddenly gave up her plate, got up and headed for the door.

"Listen Faith," Tara said hastily behind her, sitting up. "I'm sorry, I… I'm sorry. Okay?"

Faith turned to her and a forced light smile crept its way to her lips.

"Don't worry like that, Blondie," she answered, her tone now casual. "Just going to grab a shower. Missed it."

And with that, she went out of the room, leaving Tara alone.

The blonde watched her retreating back and the door closing and shrugged. She leaned back against the wall, sighed and closed her eyes.

It had been a very long day.

* * *

_End of "Insights"_

_Pieces of dialogues taken from "Bad girls", "Revelations", "Choices", « Graduation day, part I »_

* * *

_To be continued in "Welcome to my own personal little hell"_


End file.
